I have always loved the idea of acting.
Even as a small child, I recall having this overwhelming desire to act; being on stage, to me, meant everything; But I also had it drummed into me that acting, as a career, just wasn't an option. It isn't a safe, secure career, unlike office or shop work, so on leaving school I decided that I wanted to join the police.
That didn't work out.
I then worked in an opticians as an ophthalmic assistant for three and a half years, but left for a job working in a council contact centre. I stayed there for almost five years, but throughout this time, I never felt satisfied. I felt like I was constantly searching for something, but could never put my finger on what that was. To try and find out exactly what that was, I studied law for a while and creative writing; I joined various groups for art and sports, but none of them were satisfying me. The creative studies and groups were piquing my interest, but none felt like they were really me. The only time I truly felt like I could be me, was when I was playing someone else. Ironic isn't it?
I joined a few local theatre groups and participated in amateur dramatics and it really was great - but it still didn't quench my thirst and passion for acting professionally. You see, I was trying to juggle acting with "real work", as a hobby, so the people I was performing with, my friends, my family and my employers, weren't taking it seriously and, to an extent, neither was I. I was quickly becoming frustrated with my life, feeling like I had no goals or opportunities on my horizon.
Then, in November 2014, my new journey began, a direction I had never thought my life would go in. My four and a half year job at the council contact centre came to an abrupt end; I no longer had that security, the reason I'd always had drummed into me as being so vitally important. I found myself at a complete loss as to what I wanted to do with my life.
The first thing I turned to was my education; I had no formal training or qualifications, so the world felt like my oyster. I decided to go college and the first course I looked at was acting. Unfortunately, I had left it too late to join that course, it had already started and the waiting list for it was colossal!
I also still had this feeling of uncertainty about acting professionally; limiting beliefs told me it was still too uncertain a business to get into and that I might just not be good enough for it. So... I took a much safer option.
I studied events management, marketing and PR to gain an HNC qualification, but it was during this study that I hit my 'hallelujah' moment. You see, as part of my course I had to do a week's work experience placement. I chose my first love of theatre. I assisted at the NYT Connections Festival and it was whilst watching all these young actors performing, that I realised just how much I missed it.
Travelling home, with thoughts of going back to work that I hated, a job where I was constantly fulfilling someone else's aspirations, earning a fraction of what they were and constantly feeling as if I was barely surviving, merely existing. I had to get out...I found myself blurting out loud, "I can't do this any more!", I just had to find away to become a professional actress.
As soon as I got home, the first thing I did was fill out an application form for the acting and performance course at Inverness College UHI. It felt like such a relief to have finally submitted that application, but the wait was a killer! I wanted to get on the course so badly and feared I may have missed my chance, but several weeks later the letter arrived, inviting me to an audition.
I was on cloud 9!
It really was the best thing that I ever did for myself and now that I have almost completed my first year, I can feel a vast improvement in my acting ability and my knowledge of acting. My happiness levels are through the roof, because I am no longer denying myself what I want and who I really am. There are still some days when I worry, "have I made the right decision?", "what if I don't make it?", it's only natural; but we really must fight back these limiting beliefs in order to fulfill and enjoy our true potential.
I took a chance when I applied for my course, but I'm so glad that I did. I'm out of something that I didn't particularly enjoy and I am now doing something that I love. Being a drama student is tough and it isn't just about showing up to class, reading a few lines and then going back home - as some people believe. It's about commitment and having the right mindset to tackle it.
My top advice to drama students is to start reading scripts and practice your sight-reading early. You would be surprised at how many people don't do this. Practice all of the exercises that you are given on a regular, if not daily, basis and take time out of your day to people watch.
People-watching has been one of the best tools that I've been given as a student. It doesn't cost you a penny to do, but you can learn so much about other people's actions and emotions through doing it.
Above all though, the most important piece of advice I can give to you, is to follow your heart, get out of anything you don't want to be in and chase your dreams. Do not let other people's negativity and misconceptions get in the way of what you really want! It's your life and you will only be on this planet for a short time, so enjoy it whilst you can, live to your full potential, take risks and learn from every mistake you make.
I'll leave you with one pearl of wisdom that a friend gave to me, something that constantly comes to the front of my mind. Thomas Edison created the light bulb, but it took him over one thousand attempts to do so. When he was asked during the process why he didn't just accept his failure and give up, he told the person that he had not failed, for now he knew one thousand ways in which a light bulb will not work......
